Comfort is Overrated

Growing up, children are often told they should study hard so they can get a good job and "lead a comfortable life." Here's what I've discovered over the past few years though: Comfort is overrated. Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against studying hard or getting a good job, but my problem lies in the fact that unfortunately and often unconsciously, comfort becomes interchangeable with monotony. And the prospect of finding comfort in knowing exactly how the next few months (or years or decades) of my life will look is something that not only bores me, it actually scares me.

A few years ago, during my first solo travel abroad, across Turkey, the above discovery led to a subsequent one: the perfect antidote to a monotonous life is acknowledging that there is a vast, unknown world out there, and setting out to explore it. If you have ever danced with locals on the streets of a country that is not your own, or have prepared a traditional meal for a foreigner using your grandmother's secret recipe, then you know that nothing can compare to the thrill and excitement of that moment when a stranger becomes a friend. Geographical boundaries often define the confines of our mind and transcending them to embrace the unknown is liberating. By stepping out of your comfort zone in this way, you can unleash unlimited possibilities and discover the most fundamental joys.

Four months ago, my love for traveling, my desire to grow as a nonprofit professional and my belief in the value of stepping out of my comfort zone led me to pack my bags and move to the United States. I arrived with two suitcases, a year's worth of Indian spices and an open mind, nervous but excited to make a new place my home for a year, and new friends for a lifetime. I had been a citizen diplomat long before I knew it was called that, and I was about to spend a year discovering and sharing the joys of being one.

Every day as the Membership and Outreach Coordinator at the U.S. Center for Citizen Diplomacy, I learn about new ways in which organizations and individuals are facilitating intercultural dialogue and understanding. These powerful stories of cooperation and friendship inspire me in a world where stories of war, intolerance and conflict are so common. My own personal journey has been enriching and exciting. Each conversation and interaction has taught me a little more about the world and myself. It has led me to realize that citizen diplomacy is about wondering, learning and understanding. It is about challenging our opinions and overcoming our prejudices. It is about realizing that we exist in an interdependent world and that participating in an exchange of ideas and experiences is the only way to move forward as a global community. More than anything, it is about having a whole lot of fun and making new friends.

Insightful conversations with new friends (from over 30 countries!), St. Patty's day in the American Midwest, salsa dancing with my colleagues, enjoying Spanish Sangria and Dutch Stroopwafels at the EU Embassies with other fellows and cooking a big fat Mughlai meal for American friends are just few highlights from the past four months.

One event in particular best exemplifies the life of a citizen diplomat. On a beautiful weekend in March, I played Holi, the Indian festival of colors, at a Hindu temple with American friends, and the next day I ate a traditional Easter lunch and went on a scavenger hunt with a Christian family. The simple exchange of ideas and cultures over these two days was wonderful and truly special.

I know the remaining months will bring many more such amazing experiences, each unfamiliar and refreshing in its own way. I closely relate to USCCD’s mission and truly believe in the importance of what we're trying to accomplish.

Talking to someone from another country or culture will make you uncomfortable. I can tell you from experience that means it's going to be great! So go ahead. Get out today and say Hola… Namaste… Bonjour… Ni hao… Shalom… Hello… to the world!


*This blog was originally written for, and posted on, the U.S. Center for Citizen Diplomacy's website, along with this video from the first few days of my fellowship.

If men could menstruate...

"Whatever a "superior" group has will be used to justify its superiority, and whatever an "inferior" group has will be used to justify its plight."

http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/steinem.menstruate.html

The flawed collective socialization of men

...excellently articulated by Tony Porter in this Ted talk.

Women's Rights

This is a great video but we need to do two things:

1. Allow ourselves to be weighed down by the knowledge that behind these statistics are actual people

2. Realize that empowering women is not a means to an end but an end in itself. We don't need to empower women because we want to eradicate poverty (though that's great and it will happen) but because women's rights are human rights and stifling women's potential is reprehensible and shameful.

http://vimeo.com/66475816

I mentioned the second point very briefly in my submission for Amplify Your Voice on International Women's Day, 2013.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gor31weixNo&feature=youtu.be

The Power of Us

I was determined to document my experiences as a Fellow but this has been more challenging than I imagined. It has been over three months since I moved to the US and already, I have incredible stories to share. For the first time though, living each experience to the fullest and reflecting on it has taken precedence over merely reproducing it on paper. Blogging has been and remains my outlet of choice, but in the face of discovering a new place and myself, my subconscious replaced chronicling with truly 'experiencing'.

Today, after a while, I feel the familiar tug to write. I'm brimming with thoughts and harbor the irrational fear that if I don't process them, I'll lose them forever. So, I dig through a web of memories from the past few months to highlight one that I felt was extremely powerful; one that I knew I'd write about eventually.

Less than a month into my fellowship, on Feb 27, I had the pleasure of cooking an Indian meal for Yusuke Miki, a Japanese fellow at the USCCD. Well, technically, it was more heating than cooking, but I was excited about sharing my culture nonetheless (#butterchickenFTW). It had only been a few days since he began his fellowship and I loved hearing about his country, family and plans for the future. At one point, I found myself answering questions about Des Moines and Iowa like I'd been living here for years. Information about Walgreens, Rootdowns, Crab Rangoon, Downtown DSM and Walnut Street poured out of my mouth with ease, mixed with a tinge of pride and belonging. I realized in that moment that the unknown world I had plunged headfirst into was starting to become my own. (Anyone with a traveler's soul can relate to and appreciate this feeling).

Coincidentally, a documentary on the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami was airing that night and we both sat down to watch it. Seeing the series of events unfold and learning about the massive destruction they left in their wake was an intense experience. But perhaps if I had been watching it alone it might not have impacted me as strongly as it did watching it with someone who'd experienced the tragedy firsthand. Yusuke's reactions and comments made the images I was watching on TV real. Tangible. It put into perspective how such disasters, both man-made and natural, are perceived and understood. Often, statistics are just numbers and we forget that actual people endure unimaginable pain and misfortune because of something that is out of their control. Often, we don't realize the role we play in extending moral, financial or emotional support. Not stemming from guilt, but from the realization that we're all human and by virtue of that, equally susceptible and accountable to one another.

These thoughts were reiterated when, post the tragic Boston bombing, the images below went viral on the internet. Granted, they don't change the situation or undo the damage but they do acknowledge that we're all in it together; that messages of love will always outweigh, undermine and overpower messages of hatred.

Celebrating Diversity

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

In the course of a hurried life, amid unfortunate ignorance and preconceived notions, airports provide a unique vantage point from which to view diversity. Looking around you, knowing that in that moment you’re surrounded by thousands of people with millions of different thoughts, ideas, beliefs, religions and ways of life, you gain a perspective that is unparalleled.

As I sat in the Istanbul airport on Jan 18, 2013 waiting for my connecting flight to Washington DC, my mind was filled with thoughts. I was excited about embarking on a new journey, happy about returning to Turkey after two years (if only for three hours) and drinking my favorite Turkish çay, but most of all, I felt an odd mixture of calm and unease that can only be attributed to a bustling international airport.

A Muslim family of six sat across from me. The mother and daughter wore a hijab. One son cried while another looked bored and another took photos. The daughter, not more than twelve years old, attempted to calm the wailing infant. The father flipped through a magazine, unperturbed. On the next table, an African woman appeared to have given up on her four year old son who was convinced that running at full speed and, as a result, blocking people’s way was in fact the best airport activity.

Aside from our glaring differences, what struck me most as I watched the two families was the choice I had in interpreting these differences. I could compartmentalize them as right or wrong based on my own biased judgement, or I could marvel at the fact that for each thing that set us apart, there was something that we all had in common. We were all going about our lives the way we knew how, and our appearances and beliefs were inconsequential in this regard. It got me thinking about all the people in this world who shun the unfamiliar and propagate animosity; those who resort to violence to bring about uniformity in a world that is meant to be diverse. Those who condemn what they should celebrate.

Over the past month, meeting and learning from fellows from around the globe and serving at an organization* that promotes the indispensable value of citizen involvement in international relations has reaffirmed my belief in the importance of changing perspectives to change the world. And considering that this is the Atlas Corps motto, it appears I’m the right place!

*U.S. Center for Citizen Diplomacy

Featured here - http://www.atlascorps.org/blog/?p=1837

New Iowans: A Forum on Immigrants and Refugees

On February 11, Iowa International Center and the Community Foundation of Greater Des Moines organized an event called ‘New Iowans: A Forum on Immigrants and Refugees’. Diane, Matt and I from the USCCD were among many others who arrived at the Des Moines Botanical Center to learn more about this diverse group and the challenges that they face.

Tom Urban, Board of Directors, Community Foundation of Greater Des Moines and Dr. Judith A. Conlin, ED, Iowa International Center welcomed the audience and introduced the speakers for the day. They mentioned that the forum was organized as a result of the growing interest and curiosity among a wide range of people, who may or may be directly involved in working with migrants and refugees, and that there would be several more such events in the future to ensure a continued dialogue.

Dr. Mark Grey, University of Northern Iowa and Director, Iowa Center for Immigrant Leadership and Integration presented an overview of the immigrant and refugee issues in Iowa. He was followed by Lori Chesser, Attorney and co-founder, Iowa Immigration Education Coalition who explained the path that immigrants and refugees follow to gain citizenship and the issues that they face during that process. The last of the individual speakers was John Wilken, Director, Iowa Bureau of Refugee Services who took the audience through the history of refugee settlement in Iowa.

The forum concluded with a panel discussion moderated by Tom Urban. Below is a list of panelists, each of whom shared their unique personal experiences as immigrants or refugees, highlighting the challenges that they faced and the lessons that they learned along the way.

1. Zeljka Krvavica, Specialist at the Bureau of Refugee Services
2. Vinh Nguyen, ELL Coordinator, Des Moines Public Schools
3. Sandra Sanchez, AFSC Immigrants Voice Program Director
4. Ying Sa, CEO, Community CPA and founder, Immigrant Entrepreneurial Summit

Aside from the more systemic and procedural challenges that were highlighted, what stayed with me after the event were the personal stories of the panelists. The unfortunate mental and emotional turmoil that they endured as a result of their migrant or refugee status reminded everyone why there was a need to look more closely at malfunctioning systems. It reminded everyone that while it’s easy to view statistics and figures as mere numbers, it was important to recognize that each number represents a person who made, is making, and will continue to make a contribution to the American society and economy. It is therefore imperative to acknowledge and respect their contributions and support them fully during their challenging personal transitions.

Another thing that lingered in my mind was the extent of cultural assimilation that these groups undergo and its impact on them. While immigrants and refugees inevitably acquire new languages, ideologies and practices to adapt to their new environments, what are some of the conscious efforts being made to help them retain their own cultural identities? I know that diversity is regarded as a strength, but I’m curious to learn about specific initiatives aimed at protecting and promoting this diversity, especially generations later.

This forum was not only my first real introduction to issues faced by migrants and refugees; it was also a great lesson in Iowa’s history and settlement patterns. Being relatively new to the U.S., making connections between immigration, diversity and heritage greatly aided my understanding of the American culture.

Chicken and Egg

I've often wondered what perpetuates what, especially when it comes to advertising. Surely, ideas and concepts are at first embedded in reality and therefore adopted, but over decades when these ideas and concepts begin to lose relevance, I'm sure that multiple artificial exposures to them in the form of adverts reinforce their existence in our consciousness.

For example, a desire for fair skin and it's direct correlation to a better spouse many decades ago had led companies to invent fairness creams. There was a clear demand for it, a massive market and a ready made rationale for its existence. The adverts portrayed only what was already existing in society and it was therefore acceptable. It reinforced people's desire for fair skin. Deep down, I want the perfect husband. It doesn't matter that according to myth and now television, his level of perfection is indirectly proportional to the darkness of my skin. It is on TV so it must be true. Thankfully, over the years, India grew up (well, a little anyway). Today, as people are becoming more independent and confident in their skin, the need for 'fairness' on the outside and acquiring a male partner as a life goal has diminished considerably (I know I speak of a certain section but spare me for the sake of exemplification and a larger point). When sales and conversion rates went down, marketers tweaked their ad campaigns to add the new life goals that had replaced older ones. Independent women of today wanted jobs and a career. Let's simply replace a perfect spouse with the perfect job. Let's add a pinch of parental pride and emotion into the mix. Genius. It isn't news that people are fairly impressionable when it comes to these things. That is the premise of marketing. So even if there was no evidence in my real life that I would or would not get a job because of my skin colour, now that it was being shown on TV it must be true. Therefore, I must run to the market and buy myself these miracle creams that will make my life bright and shiny and my parents proud. Marketers rejoiced in their cubicles as they feasted on the low self esteem and herd mentality of their target audience.

A fact that may have existed in society, got tweaked and twisted to yet another fact that would gain importance and recognition. An idea that rose to prominence from reality went to illusion to figment and again, to reality.

So what's perpetuating what, again? And what happened to social responsibility?

Ideology vs Practicality

Randomized controlled trial for social policy and the need for evidence-based policies and interventions. Brilliant case studies and talk by Esther Duflo.

Some other great videos from Jacqueline Novogratz, founder of Acumen Fund and author of 'The Blue Sweater'.

On escaping poverty

A third way to think about aid

Step One

I watch as Imran raises his hand impatiently, then waves it around in frantic desperation, worry etched across his face. He wants another samosa, even before the one in his hand is finished. He's concerned that they will all be over, and that there won't be enough for him. In that moment, it doesn't matter to him that fifteen other children are waiting to eat beside him, it doesn't matter that he's been reassured twice that there is more than enough food for everyone, and it doesn't matter that he's being selfish, impolite and greedy. It doesn't matter, because Imran comes from a family of six who live under a fly-over in South Delhi and more often than not, he doesn't get two full meals a day. He doesn't know polite. He knows that things are always limited, and that it takes a fight to secure even those basic things that his body craves by its very nature.

I watch as Khushi walks away from me shyly, secretly pleased that I've given her a star for her drawing and written her name on it for her. There's a sense of pride in her young eyes and something tells me it's a rare and confusing emotion for her. She goes back to sit with the other girls, tentatively lifting little scraps of paper and pasting them on her drawing. She is concentrating hard, making sure it is perfect. She might not be able to govern where she lives or the fact that she has to beg on streets to earn a living (hell, she doesn't even understand what that means at her age), but she does determine what happens on that piece of paper in her hand. Unlike her father's drinking habit and her mother's rage fits, this she has control over. And for once in her life, she feels like a child her age should - relaxed, excited and content.

I watch as Seher, only eight years old herself, consoles her wailing one year old brother. She has brought him to class because wherever she goes, he goes. Her mother works 14 hours a day to support all three of them; her father died in an accident in the village 8 months ago. Seven days a week, Seher roams the roads with her brother at her hip, knocking on car window after car window for as much as one rupee. She used to leave him with an aunt earlier, but that was before she realised that carrying him with her almost always resulted in higher earnings. It was then that she stopped thinking of him as a burden and began thinking of him as an asset. I wish I could explain to her that he's neither. He's just a child, and so is she.

I watch as Suraj glares at Roohi. Then, without flinching he grabs her hands and whacks her across her neck. She lets out a cry and before I can register what's happening she returns his cold stare and kicks him hard in the stomach. He is nine years old and she is seven. I shudder at their hostility, at the revenge and intolerance that burns in their eyes. This isn't a one-off incident. This is what they know. Violence, impatience and lack of control. They've seen their parents, their siblings and their friends do the same thing. It isn't unnatural for them. But it should be.

Poverty leads to a variety of impairments that cripple human beings and societies alike. Children being robbed of their childhood is one of many heartbreaking consequences of poverty. Their potential is crushed before it can surface, their skins thicken to bear responsibilities too big for their tiny shoulders, and they're socialised into a tough and unjust world with no turning back. When I was placed in each of the above-described situations, I didn't ask myself how these children can learn, but how they can first unlearn and then relearn. Children living on the street grow up much before their time. Educating them is therefore a much more challenging task. It becomes doubly hard in a country where access to quality education is limited, to say the least. It has baffled and confounded me, preoccupying my thoughts for months. It's an unstructured, mobile and diverse group which makes it harder to draw out a common chart for development. Harder, but not impossible. 

The stories above have been inspired by my observations at Khoj Foundation, an NGO that runs an education programme for street children in South Delhi (I volunteer there once a week). The names and background information are fictitious, but the situations and the thoughts they prompted are real. Working at Khoj has got me a step closer to achieving my dream of providing quality holistic education to underprivileged children across India.